Sunday, November 21, 2010

My favorite shirt...

I'm wearing my favorite shirt today. It's a red henley with the perfect length sleeves and lots of buttons. I remember buying it from Lane Bryant a couple years ago, and almost buying a different color. I'm so glad I kept the red! There's nothing special about this shirt. it's just comfortable, casual and looks good on. It's long enough to cover my waistband (in case my panties want to make an appearance) and fitted enough to make me feel a little put together. I can wear it with jeans and tennis shoes or I can dress it up a bit and wear it with slacks and mary janes. I definitely have prettier things in my wardrobe, but this one just feels right all the time.

There's really nothing like wearing your favorite I right? :)

Sunday, November 07, 2010

The bravest thing I've done in a long time...

It took some coaxing by my husband and sister, but today I did something so brave - so daring! - that I wouldn't believe I actually did it except I have pictures...

Y'all...I wore LEGGINGS! in PUBLIC!

How do you all feel about leggings? I remember when they were huge back when I was in 5th grade. Ohmygoodness - girls in my class wore them ALL THE TIME! I never did though. I thought I was too fat to get away with it, so I steered clear. My friend Stephanie wore them though, and she looked awesome in them. I always was a little jealous that she made those things work.

I hadn't intended on hopping onto the legging bandwagon when they came around again recently. I'm fat guys - it's generally unadvisable to swath my tush in stretchy fabrics. But Matt and I were out shopping the other day, and I found this cutie-patootie sweater dress that immediately made me think, "This would look so cute with some black leggings!" What the WHAT? Who was that skinny girl talking about leggings in my brain? Surely it wasn't me. I don't wear leggings. I'm fat, remember? I took the dress to the fitting room anyway, and tried it on (along with a few other fabulous, although not as daring, items). I took pictures of myself wearing these items and texted them to my sister. "What do you think? Yes or no?" She texted back her complete support and excitement for these purchases, and I waltzed out of the mall swinging my bag happily.

I had a big day today, and needed to look nice. I decided that today might be the day to debut the leggings. I put everything on together, popped my feet in some fun red flats and made Matt take pictures of me to send to my sister. (I know - I just wasn't sure! I can't believe I kept pestering her. She's a mom with a 4 year old and a newborn nursing baby! Gah...she has so many better things to be doing!)

This morning I woke up, got ready and put those leggings on. I got a hundred (okay, maybe 5 or 6) compliments about my outfit, and I felt fabulous all day long! YAY! Let's forget for a moment that I looked cute, but those leggings are completely comfortable! Y'all, they were more comfortable than my yoga pants! I felt comfy and looked great. Bonus! Grand Slam! Touchdown! Awesome!

Please don't tell me if there's some sort of "fat girls don't wear leggings" rule that I broke today. If leggings are wrong for me, I don't want to be right!

That up there is my Goddaughter, Tiffany, and her mom, my good friend for like ever, Amanda and me (wearing the above mentioned outfit). Tiffany was baptized today, and it was the most amazing thing. Over 10 years ago, Amanda asked me to be Tiff's Godmother, and it has been one of the greatest honors of my life. Thank you Lord for an amazing young woman Tiffany is turning out to be!

Wednesday, November 03, 2010

Different day, same old stuff...

Earlier this year, on St. Patrick's Day in fact, I peed on a stick, and saw the miracle of two little lines. We were pregnant again! After all the heartache we suffered in losing our baby Squooshy last summer, we were more than ecstatic, and a little nervous. What if we lost this one too? I kept shaking off the thought. Surely we wouldn't lose two in a row. Many pregnancies - 25% in fact - end in miscarriage, but the chances that a woman will have two in a row are pretty slim. My doctor said so! We were so encouraged by that thought. We told our friends and family, and set about being a pregnant couple. We soon began hearing about other friends who were pregnant, and due at the same time! How exciting to share this journey with other families we knew! This happened when we were pregnant the first time too. Two of my favorite friends we pregnant at the same time. Thankfully they didn't lose their babies like we did. JJ and Ben are healthy and vibrant little boys!

This second pregnancy didn't go so well. In fact, when there were problems just a few weeks after we found out, we had an ultrasound, and they couldn't even find the baby. They tried again on another day - still nothing. We were losing this time too. Somehow it felt different - less traumatic - because we had never seen the baby, heard the heartbeat, watched him wiggle around like we had before. The doctor suggested we just wait for my body to miscarry on it's own rather than schedule a DNC. That was fine with me. I didn't need more medical bills! The miscarriage started happening right when we landed in New Orleans on our vacation, and continued through the entire trip.

Now we're here in November - the due date of that second pregnancy is fast approaching. Although this second miscarriage wasn't as difficult as the first (emotionally - physically it was way worse), it's still hard for me to hear about all these friends welcoming children into their families. Sometimes I long for the days when thoughts of having children weren't residing in large sections of my heart. I wish I could welcome these friends' babies without thoughts of my own failures swirling in the back parts of my brain.

I truly am excited for them. I just wish I wasn't jealous too...