He has not forgotten me...

God has spoken to me through dreams on various occasions. One was so vivid I can still remember most of it to this day. It has not escaped my attention that obviously my mind is so occupied during the day that God can only get a word in edgewise while I am fast asleep! Last week God decided to speak to me through a dream, but unlike the other times, it was not my own dream. Apparently my mind is so consumed with myself these days that God is using my friends’ dreams to communicate with me.

Karen is a friend from Asbury. She and I worked together in the Admissions Office. She and I were never best friends or anything, but we got along well and had a great time working together. I haven’t really seen Karen much in the past year or more. We have moved back to Indiana, and the only time I’ve even talked to Karen in that time was for a quick minute when we were visiting Wilmore in December. Needless to say, she is not someone that I would usually confide in or keep up to date on the status of my life.

Out of the blue, I get a message from Karen on Facebook just after midnight on Tuesday. Here is what it says:

Hey Katie Swisher, Tonight is the second time in week that I've had a dream about you having a baby. Each time I have seen you cradling a baby saying "I'm blessed like Sarah. I have to laugh. I'm blessed." We need to talk. Send me your phone number. I need my beauty rest and I would rather be dreaming about a rich and handsome man. Not that you're not great to dream about.... Take this with you until we get a chance to talk — God is mindful of you and the desires of your heart — He has not forgotten you.Blessings and love,Karen

Um…okay God. You have my attention.

I wrote her back to give her my phone number later that morning, and she called me just a couple hours later. We were both surprised to be talking to each other, I think. She told me about the dream, and how she tried to just pray for me instead of calling. I think after the second dream, she knew she was supposed to call me. I’m so thankful she was obedient!

I’ve blogged on here about the issues Matt and I are having with trying to start a family. No doubt this call has totally blown me over! I’ve tried to figure out what this dream might mean for us. Obviously, the first thought I had was, “When am I having this baby?” J Then I worried about the “blessed like Sarah” part. Sarah was an OLD LADY when she had her child…am I going to be an old lady too? I swung like a pendulum between excitement for a child, and fear that I might be 50 when it happens.

It took me a while to realize what God’s message to me really was. How could I miss it?

“God is mindful of you and the desires of your heart – He has not forgotten you.”

Through all of this trying (and failing) to have a child, I have wondered where God was. I have wondered if he knew or cared about what we wanted for our life as a family. I know there are bigger things for God to worry about, but my God is bigger than that, and loves me and cares for me…right?

Right. Absolutely right.

This dream has given me hope again…a hope I haven’t had for so long. As friends and sisters and everyone around me has gotten pregnant, had babies and gotten pregnant again, I’ve become pregnant with hopelessness.

“God is mindful of you and the desires of your heart – He has not forgotten you.”

I don’t know why we are having so much trouble getting pregnant. Maybe I’ll never know, but knowing that God has not forgotten me is amazing. I knew somewhere deep down that he hadn’t forgotten me, but I guess that knowledge was shrouded by this hopelessness.

“God is mindful of you and the desires of your heart – He has not forgotten you.”

Thank you Jesus. Thank you for being mindful of me...of all of us. I have found hope again, and can’t wait to see what God brings us in the years to come…

"Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart."
Psalm 37:4